Tell me.

Tell me how would you feel when someone you like constantly tell you that he/she wants to flirt with your ex? Or rather make friends with them? I mean what are you trying to imply? If you're doing things you think it's right then do it by all means. I won't stop you. I won't even disturb you. Who am I to even do that in the first place. Someone answer me this. If your crush says that he wants to flirt with your ex and he ask if you would get jealous, what would you say? I said why would I get jealous but I'm killing my ex in my brain million times. I know, I suck alright I am million times more lousier than my ex. If you are so god damn interested in my ex then just go for it. I won't disturb you two. Just. Leave.

Stop.

Getting sick of thaiexpress, gonna quit it soon. It's just not the type if job that suits me. I want to try changing from F&B to retail jobs, maybe those that sells clothes. Maybe then I got staff discount I can buy more clothes. Okay, once I got to use a computer, I want to try emailing Nike or others that I can try out. Gonna try, no experience but I hope it's possible.

Burden

I'm sorry for being a burden. Maybe I should leave you alone. Wander around like a lifeless soul. Sorry to make you worry. There is nothing to worry about, you got many more things to worry and decide for. I just one burden there on your back again for you to carry. I'm sorry for being a burden.

Knife

I feel as if I just got stab in my heart, million times. I feel so so so bad right now I can literally cry out a river. A happy conversation end up like this.

Work

I'm home after a long day of work and something else! time to rest~ went back NYP in the afternoon to find Alvin. It's so hard to step foot back into NYP. All the memories are all there. Went to alvin's club room and watch sword art online. An anime series that just started I think. Looks cool to me! I'm gonna watch it when I fix my comp! >< now the comp is still the state of hopeless effect. Haven't been using the comp for 1 month but i got my phone which is a good thing. :) I got my work timing already, totally upset by the timing the manager gave me. Expect me to work 3 hours on a wed. Like hello? At least fulfil my 8 hours per day uh. I don't mind working 8 hours per day. I can earn near 1000 a month if I work 8 hours for 5 days for 1 month. Gonna request.

Unsatisfied.

Humans are always unsatisfied, or rather most Singaporean are. Me myself is one of the example. I can be really happy about this yet I'm still upset about something else. Constantly worrying. Take work for example. It really sucks. Getting paid 6/hr is not that bad but the thing is, it's flat rate. Even during the public holidays, there isn't any double pay. Yet they put it so big on the postal that weekend and public holiday is 10/hr. I mean, WHAT THE POINT IF YOU PUT IT THERE AND YOU DON'T FOLLOW ? Right? I was counting my working hours for a week. First week 37 hours. Second week 27 hours. Coming this week 29 hours. I mean what?! It's getting lesser. What's more this Wednesday and Thursday, it's 3 hours and 4 hours respectively. 3 and 4 hours! What? The hell is wrong with the manager planning this type of timing. If 3-4 hours working then what's the point of us working right? Argh. But it's fine. Once Azmirah turn 16, I'm going to go find a better job with her and huiyun. 6/hr flat rate is sucky. I swear.

Self-conscious

I am very self conscious about how I look on the outside recently. What I wear refers to how high my confidence is. I don't have those nice shirt to wear and my wardrobe is really boring. I can't wait to get my pay and go on shopping spree for clothes. Really really in need of clothes. Sometimes going out with friends and I wear really simple makes me feel so dumb and odd. There's so many things to buy but so little money to use. Got to buy myself a MacBook Pro too. I think I will roughly spend 300 on clothes. Now. I'm having second thoughts of going for SMTown. I got so many things to get and I got so little money. Plus my pay isn't half monthly. It's one month one time. :( need to wait till next month end to get my pay. Annoying ! :( I need someone to hug me now. Haiz.

Missing u.

Sometimes I wonder when I miss you so much, are you missing me that much too? But the chances are low. I guess. Was cleaning my cupboard and I found letters that we wrote to each other. I kept one that you wrote and read it over again. Can't believe I'm not bitchy but whatever. You wrote " The flowing tears means that you loved. Even if you try to erase it won't be. When you miss the person, call out his name. When you feel lonely, close your eyes and see who is there. When you want to hug him, when your heart aches for him. Let the tears flow just like how you have loved him" it's been months.

Halloween

Halloween is coming soon, don't be scared to see the undeads walking around on the streets and suddenly start chasing you. I shall find the place to get the glue that the dance off people got to do make up on my face. I don't really know how to do make up but gonna try. But but but! I'm don't mind letting people do make up on my face. Went home from scape with my half zombified face and scaring people with Azmirah. We are just the 5% of people among those who did the make up. Wait till everyone comes out from the place and get scared~ and, yes, once again sorry for not blogging for very long. Was too tired after work recently. Work is not bad with good people working with us but, there isn't double pay on public holidays and shit not. I guess it's just a waste of time. Well, on the brighter side, I can spend my public holiday at home sleeping. While I work, I shall find a job that pay higher than 6/hour. I really hope I can get into direct poly man, though its kinda hard but gonna hope and wish upon the stars. Here's a photo of us being zombified.

Fashion shopping.

I'm back, blogging after a long day out with Sky( not myself ) , my friend who is amazing! Anyhow, went EYE shopping with him today. Didn't buy anything but just looked at clothes and sort. I think after I get my pay, I wouldn't mind going out with him to change my fashion ya know. Gonna try new shirt and pants rather than my boring wardrobe with less than 10 sets I can wear. I need a make over. Today is my first time meeting him after like 2 years plus? He is black, yes, don't be racist alright, he is bisexual, please don't judge. He is my friend. :) I need a shoe, new top and pants. A different hairstyle. Alright. I'm gonna do that! Working tomorrow, gonna sleep now! Goody nighty everybodeh.

Disappointment.

As my title of this blog post states it. Nobody wants to get disappointed but well. It happened to me today. Everything was planned and I'm super excited but plans was changed, was altered. Tell me, when a plan is made and you're excited suddenly plans are changed. Aren't you gonna be pissed off? Nevermind that. I will think twice before getting excited. Anyway, met up with my ex pizzahut workmates. Lina Ella and cathy. Miss them lots. Lina asked me to ask vanni Amira and guohao asked but none turned up. Either busy with their own stuff or working. Enjoyed the day, had free pizzahut, free movie. What's so bad about today anyway. I thought it would be a bad start to the week but nah, thanks to Lina and friends! I believe this week is gonna awesome. Work and work and work. Go go!

Sometimes.

Sometimes, I wonder what's going through my brain. Sometimes, I wonder am I being too sensitive to some people and too insensitive to certain people. Sometimes, I wish that people can weight the same in my heart but no, they all weight differently. Azmirah's sister asked me this," after you guys(me, huiyun, Azmirah) go to ITE will you guys still be best friends like now? Because you guys have new friends. " my reply was simple. Yes. No matter what I'm still going to make time to meet my two best friend. I can see hui Yun when I work. I can meet Azmirah for kpop dance off. Yes, if you are thinking whether three of us are just purely best friends. I can safely say, yes we are purely best friend. Though there was some affection last time but now, it's just best friends. I'm totally fine when people call me gay and sort. I will only think that they aren't grown up yet, still in their tiny world of judgement, they will only judge people and comment on them. Never think about how horrible they themselves are. Nevertheless, people who are able to accept people who are gay, les, bi or trans are awesome. One day, our society will not be so judgemental

Apologises

Hello everybody! Sorry for not blogging recently. My computer broke down and I can't on it anymore. But I found an iPhone app which enable me to blog through my iPhone. Recently a lot things had been happening and I haven't have a good night sleep till last night. My sister got herself into trouble with some other immature girls. They are just sec1 and sec2, so their mindset is still very very immature, when they grow up, they will realise what they do are really funny. Like what happened to me during sec 1 and sec 2. Now that I found my best friends. I can ignore the world and concentrate on my best friends. I don't have care what other people say, I don't have to be scared of how I'm being judged . Because what you see is what you get, it's either you stick with me or you just get lost. Two simple choice to make,stay or leave. Once again, I need to apologise for not updating my blog recently. I will try my best to update it more. I'm starting on Tuesday at ThaiEpress, Northpoint. Monday, I'm going for a date with Leonard. XD can't wait.

Swimming..

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. This post is posted at 2.20am while on the phone with MasterShiFuLeonardLim. Feel a bit tired now due to the "swim" i had this afternoon. And this girl in this photo above is having her last paper tomorrow! Jiayou!!

Changed.

Just in case you havent seen me in my new colour, its officially brown, not very brown but its still visible to the camera. Now, i got a new hair colour i shall learn to put things down and move on. Even my MasterShiFuBabyPigLeonardLimEnWei told me, "Once you're into the new world. You must remember, endurance is the key to everything." I like to imagine him saying this in a deep voice, like master ShiFu. Anyway, Endurance + Patience is the key to life and almost everything. Wonderful things are meant for us to wait. Sooner or later it will come to us. Now, after N level, its already almost a new life. Spent 4 years preparing for the last paper of N level to end. Now, the main objective is still finding a job and work and earn some money. Im waiting for the day where i can meet my babypig. He's a busy man but luckily im meeting him the week after next. CANT WAIT.

homophobic

UP AND AH AH. UP AND AH AH. Left with 3 papers before i can totally be free and dye my hair and find a job. Can't wait for N level to end. If you realise, i just changed my blogskin. Got tired of the previous one so i changed a new blogskin, its really amazing that i slides and i add on one more feature where you, READERS, can have your say on my Chatbox. So feel free to have your say! would like to hear from you people. heh, Anyway, i was bloghopping ( a term used to say that i go to other blogger's blog and read their post) and i came across this blog, Blogfathers.sg . This father talks about gay people. I really respect him and how i wish i got parents like them. Accepting gay people who they are, even though they are gay they still love them as who they are and not stereotype them. LOTS OF RESPECT TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO ACCEPT GAY PEOPLE. After all, gay people are still humans. Cheers. May the LGBT in Singapore continue to grow. This is the post (click). ANNYEONGS.

I'm telling you.

We are never ever ever ever getting back together. Just experience a really really scare heart drop caused by Leonard. Anyway, i hope i did well for Science, wasnt really concentrating on the paper today. During Physics paper, i was thinking about Working at Uniqlo and stuff like that. After that during chemistry i was thinking about genting trip and SMTown concert and some relationship stuff. I realise that when two people know each other too well, its hard to get together. Knowing each other too well it will end up having more fights and stuff, i prefer going step by step knowing each other bit by bit and move on from there. Whatever it is, feelings still come first. no feeling no talk. Going to study maths in a while more, CANNOT FAIL MATHS. NEVER.