Stuck.

Hey Guys, Finally back blogging after a few days. This time round, i am back with more of my troubled soul. Yes, you read that right.. Troubled Soul. I am troubled. Very troubled in detail. Why so? It's because of two person. Both guys and same name but different surname. How should i put it, I am very much confused in between. I tried to make time for both of them but however, i am still a average human who can't please the both world. It is, indeed hard for me cause both of them having feelings for me and i am pretty sure of that case. I never thought a guy like me will be worth fighting for. People say, Get them to be friends, it will pretty much solve everything, Yep, i tried. I tried so hard that i got tired of my own shit. I am just stuck in between both of them, I don't get why they can't understand the fact that i am still a human and that i don't just belong to one person. No i don't belong to just one person. I don't want to be as well. I don't want to feel trapped in one, i want peace and yes, i just hope for peace. My 18 birthday just passed not long ago and this is happening, i am wondering if i am just being unlucky. Even Christopher Thian, one awesome guy i known for so long, started to give me attitude that i didn't ask for. I know and understand that, that is one's personality however, i am very much upset by the fact that he is unable to control his words and attitude when he is upset. He showed me how annoying i am. I know i am annoying but what i was trying to do is just to make peace between two person, If one is unable to be stable enough to meet the other, i will have to make sure that they don't meet till they feel better. I guess that's the only way to make peace, however there will always be insecurities stepping in... Insecurity is such a bitch. I know and understand very much how does this feel but i just hope both of them understand that they are important to me and i just can't just ignore another for one. I am who i am, If this goes on, i don't know how long can i last in staying strong. I might just end up giving up on everything and just distance myself away from everybody, if that's the way they want it then fine by me. I certainly don't want Christopher Ching to think so much that affect him so badly as well. No, i am not saying that i should totally devote my time to C. Thian. And no, I don't have to totally devote my time to C. Ching as well. I know both of them meant well for each other but this is simply too much. Being stuck in-between two person isn't that nice. I know both of them will be reading this post but i just want them to know how hard it is to be stuck in the middle. I hate being stuck in the middle. C. Thian just need to work on his emotion. Nobody said it's gonna be easy but if there's no effort, no effect will be seen. In fact, one day after my birthday, i thought it will be a great day for both of them to hang out together, brought along my polaroid, hoping to take some good photos together and i have people giving me attitude. At that moment of time, in my brain was to endure and make sure i don't burst. And, yes, y'all guessed it.. I burst. I can't take it, trying to make everything work when there are no effort being seen, AT ALL. How would y'all feel when 3 person goes out together and end up being very quiet and walking in one straight line. I know right, What the actual fuck. I can, NEVER take that shit. NEVER EVER. I would pretty much say it's a rather fucked up outing, whats more... One day after my birthday. ONE DAY. Can you believe that... I am pretty sure 2014 isn't gonna be a good year for me.. Although it's going to be a lot of self-improvement but i know in my emotion and friendship wise, it's gonna be tough. I don't want to lose both of them however at this rate that it's going, i am pretty sure i am going to give up. If you want to give me attitude then go ahead, i would care less. I know, i am not a good friend or something but at least i tried to give my 100 % in saving this. I would just want to end this blog post with one simple sentence.. " I Belong To Nobody And That Nobody Means Nobody At All. "

Rain!

Heylo Heylo readers! Yeps. I guess the topic suggest it all. It finally rained! Yes, I know right. This might sound stupid to my friends from outside Singapore but just some quick information. Singapore haven't rained for over a month and our drainage are drying up and reservoir too. But since it rained today I guess it's good news! Then again. We don't have some so good news which is the lost Malaysia Airlines. I placed myself in those families and friends whose relatives and friends are in the MH370 , Boeing 777. I guess it's pretty hard to really stay strong as Malaysia airlines are not giving proper and solid informations and eventually those searches will be proven worthless. It's kinda sad though. Let's take a moment here to pray for MH370 #PrayForMH370 ! Okay apart from world news , let's bring y'all back to my life. I have come up with a proper haircut that I think will fit me quite well. Shall go and get it done before my 18th birthday coming up this Sunday! 23rd March. Prepare your presents guys!!! People have been asking what do I like. Well, I am not too sure myself too. I've got like 4 huge bears or something close. I won't mind having more though. Erm, yes. I am needing shopping vouchers. I'm like broke to buy clothes and I really need new clothes. Old clothes needs to go and new clothes will come! Other than that, I guess a new bag? Some dream catchers ? Yeah, that's all I guess. I won't mind receiving surprise box though ! God... I am excited for my birthday this Sunday and then I can go and book for my driving test, hope to get my driving license soon! Want to drive around! Pew pew! Also, I really need to go to the gym too, need to train up. Remove the fats, start building muscle. Before 2014 ends , I must be slim already. Or rather, better looking! Anyone want to sponsor my gym fee? Hehehe, alright that's all for now! Love y'all and I'll probably start trying a new media which is vlogging! Do support! 

Yo' Mothafuckers

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Blogging

It's been god knows how long since the last I touch this dead blog of mine. Well, the reason for me blogging today.. I'm not too sure myself. I guess I just feel like blogging after reading some other blogs online. Blogging needs to be inspired to and feelings play a hugeeee part in this area too. I shall go into a very detailed details of my life as of now. So if you're not interested, you can kindly just click on the cross on the tab or simply, press Control + F4. Here goes,  if I didn't remember wrongly, the last time I updated my blog of last oct, after F1. Please refer to the previous post if you haven't read it yet. So far, a lot of stuff had happen to me, be it good or bad. Counting down 19 more days to my 18th birthday. Time flies and I really feel as if I am not catching up with time. Throw back all the way to jan, I hopped into 2014 with Vanni , Gaya and Azmirah. Hui Yun didn't managed to come cause of work, however she later joined us in my house gathering during CNY. On 1st of jan I went to river safari with Quek Zhen, I would say it was really a waste of money. Personally I think that it's rather boring but it's kinda waste of my time. Fast forward , CNY this year felt weird. I guess mainly because those people we always visit are no longer around, my grandfather and many others. I guess year after year, the meaning of CNY will eventually dispreciate and I won't be celebrating anymore. Yeps, one week after. I had a quarrel with Quek Zhen, and I guess y'all would have guessed it , we are no longer friends. Well... I would say he is one very cute guy but well, if we are meant to be friends, no matter what happens, we will be. But since we are no longer friends, I see no point elebrorating about it any further. Then I got myself a DSLR  on feb too, I've been dreaming for one since god knows how long too. Now, bow down bitches cause king B is here to rule the world of yours.... Nah not really hahahaha, Kay fuck y'all cause I love all my readers. Yeah, I brought my new baby out with Christopher Thian on a trip to marina bay to do some sexy photo shot. I would proudly say, Christopher is really someone truly amazing, although when he is tired, he get annoyed easily and his replies to my question is often came across as rude. I guess his patience for My stupidity just ran out. Hahahah. But then again, he plays a huge part in my life, I didn't know that he would have such huge impact on my life. Thank you for being there whenever I needed you. Thank you so much, love you. Then not long after, Another Christopher came into my life, his name is Christopher Ching. Yep, I don't really know him that well but I know we are gonna be like great friends for very long. Yay. And I just wanna tell him that he can do it to overcome the feeling he's feeling now. JIAYOU, I will be here for you! FAST FORWARD to last Monday, I went for my first piercing. Yes, I typed Piercing . I always wanted one since sec 2. Can you imagine how long I took to even make up my mind and took the courage to went and get it done? But I had to remove it on sat when I was working and guess what?! The hole closed. IT MOTHAFUCKING CLOSED , but then my ear saver, Christopher came to my yell for help. Yay and now it's back. AND I PROBABLY MISSED OUT ONE MAJOR PART THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT, SORRY GUYS, I HAVE TO THROW YALL THOUGH THE MAGIC TIME MIRROR. THROW BACKKKKKKKKK TO NOV 2013! Yes, just for a short while. I got my current job at esplanade with the help of Azuan, it's a great job. Earning quite a bit to support myself during that month. Okay guys come back to current time. And it's only 1 week to my major exams, I can't wait for it to be over!! Going ahead of time, I'll need to go start shopping spree for my surprise box for Christopher Thian. It's gonna be fun!! And adventure cove on the 22 nd March. So.... That's my life so far and a little ahead of time, But you get it. :) and soon, Guo Hao will be going into army already, time flies, it's been 3 years since the last time we sat down and have a good dinner. Shall not emo and I no longer will cause I'm already over that relationship. I'll try to blog as often as I can but no promises! Love y'all and be kind to everyone.