Hard times

I was born cheerful, said to be the sunshine of the family. I made people feel safe and happy and always hated to see people fawning. Sometimes I just don't know when to let go and move on. I was never the popular kid, well known kid in school. I've many friends but sometime I wonder who are the real friends that I can trust and move ahead with. Good times are hard to come by but it would worth it. I guess. I spend 1 hr looking through my photos and think to myself what I really need and want. Nope, I don't need a relationship to keep myself going. Not do I want a relationship now. Though its almost impossible to be with you but I'll be there. I tried changing my attitude to fit in with my friends but they seem as if nothing much. Effort was not appreciated and not seen. Pointless. Sometimes I gave up trying not because I'm too lazy to continue, it's because my effort was not recognised. " you are feeling sad because you are hearing me being sad, " you don't know my story yet. 8 years and still keeping inside. Shivering once in a while hoping someone out there would hug me tightly. Nightmares. You aren't there. Nightmares. :(