Current life

Lots of things happening at one go recently. With N levels coming up real soon. Time to make the decision to go ITE or continue my studies in Riverside. Though I have pretty much made up my mind to go ITE, but my parents and relatives strong disagree with what I think would be better for me. I mean. I am one that can't take lots of stress. Especially if it comes to secondary 5 and O levels. It's already a burning hell now, should I go on and have another year of burning hell? It still leaves me with a big question mark. Though I am pretty sure I am not going bck for secondary 5 if I get 15-19 points. It's a risk. A big risk. I guess it's just walk a step and look out for the next step. Hmm. Secondly, friendship problem. This is a constant problem that I have. Everytime. I'll never make peace with people whom I seriously don't like. No joke. Though I'm okay with Melson in school now, I'll never fit in into their clique. Reason? Cause I'm not into much gaming and they talks about games I don't know and maybe sports which I don't really know. My circle of friends is limited. But what's good is that I have a few great friends around me. Just to mention 4, easily from my brain. 1) azmirah( though I feel like I'm useless when with her most of the time) 2) Ce Xun ( this guy is really unique. He is one of the cute guys I know. I just know him for not very long yet I don't mind showing him my ugly side. ) 3) Marcus. ( this guy is insane with domo and cute guys. He is also cute but. Awkward 40% of the time ) 4) hui Yun( though she says that she don't feel that I treat her as a best friend but I really read treat her as one. If not I wouldn't bring food for her last term) reason why I mention just 4 because I really got no clue who else to credit. :X lastly. Just a note to many. I fall in love easily. I believe you when you say you love me ( hope that im yours) You will make me think of you all day long even though I just get to know you. You're cute though you claim that you're near to ugly. But you're cute in my view. Don't care what others say cause they don't know you. So what if you're fat? It's god's creation and plan. Love the way god wants you to be. I don't know whether you will read this but. I'll try my best to get to know you more. :D

Kiss The Rain.

Havent been updating my blog recently, been busy with my school work as homework are starting to pile up, Day by day. The stress level increases, Never have i thought i am 16 in another 8 days. Feeling older and older everyday. Thinking of a lot of things recently,what am i gonna do if i fall sick, what am i gonna be when i grow older. And thinking of what i really want. Listening to Yiruma's Kiss The Rain allows me to think slowly with pace. Life in singapore is really stressful, everyday you are completing with other people, either studies,work or relationship. Many wish to go overseas to stay, personally, i would wish for the same thing. Going over to another country and stay there. Being a resident of another country, what country do i wanna live in? Perhaps, Canada. Somewhere where life isnt as stress. Standard of living here in singapore is good, there is access to clean water and variety of food. But its just too stress. But oh well. We got no chance to choose where we want to live. Live with it. Anyway, getting my Polaroid tmr, Yay, <3 i feel so sleepy. Gonna meet Alan and GuoHao later to go out... Maybe this is the last one before my N levels. Hmmmm. Oh well. bai

Love?

What's love. I wonder. It has been 8 months. Almost 9th. Arguing a lot recently. I'm tired of all these.

Jar of hearts.

I learnt to live half alive.

house or hotel?

The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It ... is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance, and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become all that he can be.

MARIANNE E. NEIFERT, Dr. Mom's Parenting Guide


I've overheard, just overheard. You are gonna kick me out of the house. i know... its a sooner or later. Maybe im just a pest here. Maybe i should leave. Why and what am i waiting for? since everyone at home see me as a outsider. leaving early when i wake up and reaching home late is better for everyone right? You wont get to see this annoying face of mine. Just.. tell me to leave. i'll leave and i wont be back. Trust me. Went out with GuoHao today. Went to some DIY shop. Saw a lady doing up her very own family photo. Standing by one staring at their faces. Trying to pretend that was us inside. Heart hurt so much when i think of it, i start to think. If they are just being piss because of GuoHao coming here to stay and not paying, okay, i'll pay. i just wish for one tight hug from mum again. I got to stop crying, i look pathetic. If i cannot stand up for myself, who will. I feel like doing up a FamilyPhoto too. i just dont have the courage to go towards the printing shop to print the photos when nothing at home is right. Where's my courage? Where's the courage i used to have? im sick and tired of going home everyday looking at their :| face. i miss the period of time when everyone come home with a big :D i guess, i'll never get to see once of these again since they have consider to kick me out of the house. Just say, i'll go.

Family likeness has often a deep sadness in it.

GEORGE ELIOT, Adam Bede

2012.

I surrender, just kill me. here's what happen.
Mum: i think u have to stop that kind of relationship that have with guohao, as what i told u before, i can be very open minded but that doesnt mean that i can accept and agreed on the adnormal relationship that u r having..
Continues: u shd have better choice den just having him lor. anyway now u r still too young to go into any relationship. If u r having a normal relationship i will accept but not this kind of relationship. what i said yesterday i am serious about it, U better stop this kind of unhealthy relationship with him ur dad got to know about it.
Continues: i know that if i would to send a msg to him directly without letting you know, it will piss you off.. so i gave you the respect to inform and tell you to stop the relationship before i send any unpredictable msg to him.
Continues: so from today onwards, you have to reach home latest by 11.30pm not later den than and no excues and i do not want him to step into our house anymore. i mean it. you really disappoint me, you are such a good boy and dont understand how come you want to get involve into this kind of unhealthy relationship, you will only let people look down on you, its nothing proud of instead it very shameful behavior, so please stop it.
Me: i got no comments. nothing to say. whatever you want to say, just say. since everything you also want to say then i rather keep my mouth shut and just listen. seems like everything i do nowadays annoys you. and you have to comment on whatever i do, then so be it.
Mum: ok if you think it this way den from today onwards i wont talk to you anymore.
Continues: since now i think he is so important and if you are not happy staying with me, you can do whatever you want. but i do not want him to step into my house anymore.
Me: its the fact. you think la. whatever i do nowadays you all will comment, you're just being paranoid. i treat everyone the same. Everyone will have a friend who listens to them and give advice and it so happen that guohao is the one who listens to me and advice me, i got no comment or anything to say since you want to see and him having a abnormal relationship, so be it.i dont have much friends, so i hang out with him most of the time. like that also wrong.
Mum: up to you since this is what you think then i got no comments too. From this moment onwards, i wont say anything anymore.Just remember. 我家不欢迎他。thats simple. i dont want to give you anymore comments.
Me: just try standing in my shoe for once and see things from my view. you will understand. with N levels coming and not a lot of friends. you will understand why i need a friend like that. im not trying to be rude but i just want to say whats in my mind. ever since 2012. you totally feel like a different person.
Mum: i dont want to feed others people son for free... my own children already having such a bad life so i dont have the responsibility to feed others for free even he is closed to you.
Me: i get what you mean and therefore he wont come over. i just want you to stand in my shoes and see my world, nothing is going right.
Mum: i had given you whatever freedom you want.
Me: i dont want to say anymore since you are right. i dont want this to turn ugly. i'll keep my mouth shut alright.
Mum: if its still not right then theres nothing i can do. thats all i can do to protect my 3 baobei, i will keep my mouth shut as weel as i said i wont talk to you or give you anymore comments. and i will keep myself far away from you. i think this will be good you wont get piss off with me and i wont get piss off with you. whatever things you need please talk to your dad, i was my hands off from you.
End.
If thats what a mum should say. then so be it. im sorry, but i'll leave. Since my presence makes you piss off. what better to do than to jump down and die right? or shoot me in my head. burst my brain. im such a pain in the ass. Studies not good. Friendship not able to hold it well. Family not able to hold it well. what on earth am i good at? Crying? yes crying. Why am i crying? cause my heart hurts, game over, i'll never be the same. i surrender myself to deathdoor, deathlord, you may pick me up anytime.

Dream.

Dreams, what may seems the truth but, its never as it is.

A dream i had that made me really scared. A dream that made me believe that the world is ending. Its like a loud sound from my room, i knew something isnt right. i know right from the start that something isnt going right like the other days. Thunderstorm. Walked out of my room. Firstly, 3 random bike-like-items flew from nowhere and hit my flag. It was so scary i screamed. Followed by a car that flew, it bang against the door and it hit me. i black-out. Thats all.

Alvin and the chipmunks

Hohohoho~ Hello everybody, Baby went Genting, 1 day plus le! 3 more than before he come back. Watching Alvin and the chipmunks now, Went to watch Alvin and the chipmunks 3 on Friday with Joshua and baby. It was funny but not really long but okay la. After that went to Play DDR, HUHUH. after so longgggg. HEHE. Guess what, Baby lost his IPod, My tian. IPod, Put in the pocket behind his pants, Who on earth will put something so important at the back of the pants, LUCKY FOR HIM, THEY FOUND IT AND RETURN IT BACK TO US. Like a boohoo and a woohoo. Humans are never as lucky. Anyway. Didnt go to work today, feeling so lazy, No MC or anything. Watch FairyTail like insane, Did i mention, Coco came home le! After 6 months~ YAYNESS. Okay, going off now. BUAIBUAI.

PizzaHut chalet.

Hello Everybody, So tired now, 3.09am, just finish studying POA, Tmr got retest! ARGH, Gonna pass it if not i have to drop it. TSK. Anyhow, today went for PizzaHut Rally, Area2. Really boring i would say but know a few more ppl. :) The photo on the top, My card. ^^ Group Pink. Okay, I going to sleep now. Answering these few questions before going off.


1: Are youu ready for 111 questions?yep
2: Was your last relationship a mistake?Nope
3: Do you miss your last relationship?nope
4: Who did you last say "iloveyou" to?LuoGuoHao
5: Do you regret it?no
6: Have you ever been depressed?not really.
7: Are youu a boy or girl?boy.
8: Are you insecure?no
9: What is your relationship status?attached.
10: How do you want to die?Freeze to death.
11: What did you last eat?Seaweed crackers

12: Have you played any sports?bball
13: Do you bite your nails?no
14: When was your last physical fight?Erm, A few days ago with LUO
15: Do you have an attitude? Yep.
16: Do you like someone?yes.
17: What is your real name? Daryl Lim
18: Have you ever read a book?yes
19: Are you gonna get high later?Nope
20: Do youu hate anyone at the moment? Nope
21: Do youu miss someone? Yes
22: Twirl or cut your spagetti?Twirl
23: Do you tan a lot?yes
24: Have any pets?yes
25: How exactly are you feeling? Sleepy.
26: Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?yes
27: Ever been checked out?yesh.
28: Would you take any of your exes back?No
29: Are you scared of millipedes?yes
30: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?yes
31: Do you regret anything from your past?yes
32: What are your plans for this weekend?Work.
33: Do you want to have kids?yesh.
34: Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?no
35: Do you type fast?quite.
36: Do youu have piercings?no
37: Want anymore?more shit.
38: Can youu spell well?well i guess
39: Do youu miss anyone from your past?yea
40: What are you craving right now?Lemon chicky, anything that has nice chicky
41: Ever been to a bonfire party?no
42: Ever been kissed?yesh
43: Have you ever been on a horse?no
44: Kissed someone in a pick up truck?no
45: Have youu ever broken someones heart?yesh, sorry gary.
46: Have youu ever been cheated on?yes
47: Have you ever made a friend cry?yes
48: Are you thinking of someone right now?yes
49: Would you live with someone without marrying them?yep.
50: What should you be doing?sleeping
51: Whats irritating you right now?POA not getting into me.
52: Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?no
53: Does somebody love you? YESH.
54: What is your favorite color?Blue,Pink.
55: Have youu ever changed clothes in a car? yesh
56: Milk chocolate or white chocolate?white
57: Do you have trust issues?no
58: Bestfriends name?Vanni
59: 2nd bestfriends name?Amira
60: 3rd bestfriends name?Luo Guo Hao
61: Longest relationship?6th months and counting.
62: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about youu?Nope,
63: Who was the last person you cried in front of?Luo,
64: Do you give out second chances too easily? Yep.
65: Is it easier to forgive or forget?Forget is easier
66: Is this year the best year of your life?no
67: What was your childhood nickname? -
68: Have youu ever walked outside completley naked?no
69: Favorite food? alot
70: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?yes
71: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?Hug luo
72: Did youu have dream last night?Yep i think
73: What is bothering youu?school
74: Have youu ever been out of state?yea
75: Do you play the wii?nope
76: Are you listening to music right now?yes
77: Do you like chinese food?yes
78: Who are you texting right now?yes
79: Are you afraid of the dark?sometimes
80: Is cheating ever okay?no
81: Are you mean?sometimes
82: Can you keep white shoes clean?yes
83: What year has been your best?1996
84: Do you believe in true God?yes
85: Favorite weather?windy
86: Do you like the snow?yes
87: Does it snow a lot where you live?no
88: Do you like the outside?yes
89: Are you currently bored?nope
90: Do you wanna get married?yes
91: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?yes
92: Are you hungry?nope
93: Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?no
94: What makes youu happy?Luo,work,Sheena.
95: Would you change your name?yesh
96: Ever been to Alaska?no
97: Ever been to Hawaii?no
98: Do you watch the news?no
99: What's your zodiac sign?aries
100: Do you like subway?nope
101: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?no
102: Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Erm.. okay?
103: Do you talk like your friends?yes
104: Why did you decide to do this quiz?to keep my readers continue reading.
105: Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?yes
106: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?yea
107: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?My sis?
108: Do you feel good?yes
109: Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?dun hav
110: Favorite lyrics right now?i forget.
111: Can youu count to one million?no
Done!

HOHOHO, 12/12

ALOHA EVERYBODY, -knock knock- whos there? Daryl. Daryl who? Your blog. My blog who. nobody, Okay stop it, Anyway. i am back. Sitting on the bed with my two baby, Sheena and Baby. Gonna upload Sheena photo tmr alrighty. Dont worry, Sheena is so cute. like omg. Gonna sleep early, tmr gonna report to outlet by 7.30am, got course to attend, idk where is the place. :3 -dies- okay, by 7.30 neh. so early. kan sai. Wed got Rally to go need to wear white. WHITE. Thurs got POA Retest, Fri need go back training centre, i think is 9-5, not sure. i want go sleep now. idk where my parents and the girls go. okay, nightsnights

Back.

Hello everybody im back here posting after like 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years, im sorry peeps. Anyway, i am so tired now, Fight with guy just now, WOAH, really fucked up, i wanna like kill ppl le. Anyhow, Im going to sleep now. Continue tmr! Love you peeps! nightssss. <3

Abortion reflection

Abortion. After reading the post I post a while ago. What do you think? It feels really bad isn't it? When reading it. It just makes me feel really bad. It makes me feel as if I am there watching the whole storyline. The touching part is when the baby goes to the hospital, happily which turned out to be a nightmare. Damn. Stop be irresponsible. It sucks. You wanna have sex then be responsible. Don't add like a 2 year old kid. -.- argh. -pray-

Stop abortion

Hi, Mommy.

I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.
...
Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, repost. (:

iPhone app blogger

Hello Everybody. Blogging with my phone now. Heh. Can use my phone blog le. Huhu. Blogger on iPhone app. Nice! Now I can update my blog anywhere and everywhere. Heh. Like boohoo. Tmr school Start le. Short term before the end of year exams start. 2 weeks. Hmmm. Sis taking her PSLE this month end too. JIAYOU orh! I hope you get 187 and above so you can get your iPhone. Heh. Jiayou! ^^ okay. I tired Liao. Wanna orh orh Liao. Night night people. <3

teachers day.

I..I.. i dont need too much. ♥

Hello world~~~ Today very slacky. did nothing just stay home and maple all day long. Going out with Wifey tmr. Wearing my new clothes that mum brought from taiwan tmr. hehe. YAY ttm. i like so muchy muchy. ♥ this is the necklace she brought. i didnt manage to see it when i go taiwan. nvm. i at least i got it now. like boohuu. like B to the O to the O to the H to the U to the U like boohuu, you know boohuu? okay. stop it daryl. :X Went back to ADMPS. Met Kimberly first. she release so early. then go mac have icecreamy~ ♥ then go back school. saw peng swen and jia hui and bleah bleah. dont have to report everything in detail. :D Just roughly okay? wait till 4 for Miss mdm rachelle. Hah. so weird last 3 years we call her Miss. now its mdm. But oh well. Hah. Going out with wifey tmr to comex. wanna see some lappy and blackberry ~ then maybe go bugis ddr and watch smurfs. heh. Currently talking to nicholas. Seriously no idea whats with that idiot. Please ah. he is your "stead" if you can keep pinpointing his fault. what about yourself? you think you're so oh-godly-perfect? You're lucky nicholas dont want to shoot you. if me, i shoot till you half-dead le. keep pointing his fault. Look at yourself la. tmd. Keep making nicholas upset think very fun is it? -.- Okay till here bah. i smell my bed. ♥