Point

Hey guys. Just updating my blog while I am here at waterfront facing him and the trees and the water infront of us. Many things have been happening concurrently and it's causing me I slowly lose my mind. I am serious when it comes to me losing my mind. I am starting to have memory loss. There are things that I cannot remember even though it only happened a few days back. I guess I need help. And yes. Sitting down here being quiet is really not my style. But, why bother when you meet someone, the moment they see you. Their face changed immediately. It's as if they don't want to see you at all. It makes me feel damn upset. Very upset. What's more. While waiting for the bus. With the earpiece still on listening to songs and caught someone deleting all your photos away. Mmmm yes I guess I know. I was never meant to be for someone. It's never easy. When you think about it. It's not easy. I don't like how things are now. And I don't wish that this will continue. But whatever it is., just let time tell. I'm sick and tired of this shit. I had enough and I am done. 

Distance

Hey Guys! Haven't been posting for the past few days but i am back to post a short post! Hmmm, Haven't been texting a lot with people recently cause i'm getting a little too busy with some stuff like, my volunteer work at Electric Run Singapore 2 days back and last night i went to run for it too thus, i haven't been on my phone for quite a long period of time. Maybe that's the reason why, people distance themselves away thinking i am busy. Maybe that could be a reason, i am not sure. I've deleted my JackD app for a few weeks and i downloaded it back 2 days back to see those around me. I've that app in my phone for a few years already and i deleted it because of a certain someone and because i am curious to see who's around me so i downloaded it back. (We) deleted the app together but guess what, i went to the app today and i found out that (You) downloaded it back. Yeah, then you go on twitter and tweet about some emo stuff saying that i'm lying and you should not do anything for anyone. Yeps, now i realise too. Just because i am busy with my stuff, texting you lesser. It gives you the feeling to download the app back. So if i didn't have the app back, i wouldn't know that you downloaded the app back. So, if you want to talk about why i downloaded the app back, think about yourself, why did you download it back too. It's not all about my fault, there's some fault that you have to bear too. If it's because we haven't meet for the past week and all these shit are happening then nope, You are not the one. Just imagine in future, when school work gets busier and i will have to end up spending more time on my studies, what will happen? I don't want stuff to become ugly, and i don't wish it will become ugly. I cherish your existence in my life but somehow because of little stuff, you would like to make everything seem like it's the end of the world, then go ahead and be my guest. I don't know how to put things through but i just want you to know all these. The End.

A Wonderful Day

Hey Guys! Today's post is just about today's trip to Sentosa with Chris. Ching! We took the cable car from Mount Faber in, the climb up to Mount Faber is really horrible! Okay, maybe just me but yes, it's horrible. I was panting like a dog and when getting the ticket for the cable car, i was all wet from my sweat! However the view inside the cable car is really great, so no regrets for climbing all the way up! The photo up there is me and him in the Cable Car and this below is the view from the cable car.

We went to Siloso Beach but on our way there, we stopped and get ourselves some AirBrush Tattoo. Which is really beautiful, i love it a lot! I might consider getting one on myself in future, maybe somewhere that can be hidden? Siloso Beach was very crowded, FULL of people. So we decided to make our way to Tanjong Beach which is a lot more quieter. Took a few selfie, like this!

And that's my tattoo over there! Really enjoyed myself today, maybe because it's 2 days till the holidays end so it's best to enjoy myself till the max! Tomorrow going down to Javius house to be his "Model" for some stuff which i am not really looking forward to. :/ but as a friend, i shall try! With all these content for y'all, i am gonna go to bed now! Good Night Earthlings. <3 br="">

Island Getaway

Hey guys! Been posting quite often nowadays mainly because my school is reopening in a few days time and i certainly don't want to let my blog die off that quickly, yet. So to let y'all keep coming back for more in future! I just watched a video from ClickNetwork.Tv about an Island Getaway with AirAsia! Here's the link for y'all. (Island Getaway) ! Go watch it, not now but after finish reading my blog post maybe? I am so so so envy that they went to such a beautiful island, it's just so wonderful and beautiful. I want to go there too, badly actually. I really need a getaway from Singapore and the stress here. However, talking about stress , i found out my results this morning! I was so nervous as the site processes my results, very nervous actually. I waited for 10 minutes for it to even process and come out with my results, no doubt i am very satisfied with my results. I got 3.353 for the previous Semester which is a GREAT improvement from my first semester which was 2.672, a break through and off away from the 2 pointer range! I guess all that studying for my MICE module is all worth it, i got a distinction for it! I mean, YAY !!! Now, what's worrying me more is the next semester coming up. 3 Core Modules. THREE, I can't imagine the stress i have to go through once again and all the projects that are crazily weighted. Man, I hope i will do fine for the upcoming semester! With all these , i shall conclude my post with a summary of what i did today! Let's see, I met Chris. Ching this morning and spent the afternoon together till late afternoon before making my way down to Somerset to meet Chris. Thian to collect our Electric Run Race Pack.  Can't wait for next weekend's run! With all these, i shall say Bye Bye!

Bake!

Hey guys, what's up? Just gonna be a quick update for now cause i am going to bed early tonight! Yep, I've been sleeping quite late recently. Which is B.A.D. , i know right. I started to grow so many pimples on my face. so horrible, i can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror. Those pimples, needs to go. Really, no joke. So i have come up with a decision to sleep early! Hopefully those pimples will fall apart and never come back again. Later on, heading to *Scape with Chris. Thian to collect our race pack for Electric Run! Can't wait to see what's inside, plus it's my first marathon! Good luck to me for completing the 5 km run! Just now, went to the gym with him too, didn't feel so good while doing my sit ups. Probably because i didn't have enough sleep last night or slept too late? May be one of the reason, but i go to bed early tonight to see if i can wake up early enough to head to the gym to do some work-out. I am super satisfied about my progress of finishing that 20mins track-mill, ran 2.6km. I know it's not much to some of you but its pretty good to me, judging from the fact i didn't go for any runs or anything for quite some time, so yep! I hope overtime, i'll improve and run faster and longer. Alright! That's all for now! I'm heading to bed! Have a Good Night everybody! <3 br="">

Hero

Hey guys! This is gonna be a short and quick one because i need to go to bed soon, probably heading to gym later on in the late morning.Once this week ends, i need to get the gym routine schedule going so that effects can be seen. Don't want to waste Chris.Thian's money! Plus my school is going to reopen next week, can't wait actually. To get it over and done with. Hmmm, Yep, the picture is me and Chris. Ching. We went out on his birthday to celebrate,hmmmm, i hope he enjoy his day with me even though it was quite badly planned but should be quite enjoyable? i guess. oh and yes, my results coming out this Friday, omg, i am so scared... If i get above 3.2 GPA, i will be so damn happy. I shall not expect a lot from myself cause that's what i did previously and i only got like what, 2.765? So pathetic. -_- So let's not pin your hopes on me high up in the sky! I am not there yet. This coming sem, i will chiong extra hard and see if i can do better. Recently, problems have been going down quite a lot! Which is wonderfully great! i have to thank Chris. Thian for giving me space and understanding me. Thanks a lot ! Lots of tight hugs for you. <3 -finger="" a="" about="" actual="" actually="" all.="" already="" am="" and="" answer="" as="" b="" bed="" br="" but="" came="" can="" cause="" cca.="" cca="" continue="" continuing="" cross-="" decision="" don="" entertain="" excuse.="" excuses="" fact="" feel="" for="" fuck="" get="" giving="" going="" good="" got="" gym="" have="" heading="" hopefully="" i="" interest="" is="" it="" lame="" like="" lovely="" me="" mean="" might="" more="" mr.="" my="" night="" no="" not.="" not="" now="" of="" one="" or="" people="" plus="" point="" quit="" quitting="" re="" reader="" really="" role="" s="" say....="" say="" so="" some="" something="" still="" study.="" stuff="" t="" talked="" tell="" that="" the="" there.="" there="" this="" thought="" till="" time="" tired="" to="" tomorrow="" vp="" well="" what="" when="" whole.="" work="" y="" yeah="" yep="" you="">

Stuck.

Hey Guys, Finally back blogging after a few days. This time round, i am back with more of my troubled soul. Yes, you read that right.. Troubled Soul. I am troubled. Very troubled in detail. Why so? It's because of two person. Both guys and same name but different surname. How should i put it, I am very much confused in between. I tried to make time for both of them but however, i am still a average human who can't please the both world. It is, indeed hard for me cause both of them having feelings for me and i am pretty sure of that case. I never thought a guy like me will be worth fighting for. People say, Get them to be friends, it will pretty much solve everything, Yep, i tried. I tried so hard that i got tired of my own shit. I am just stuck in between both of them, I don't get why they can't understand the fact that i am still a human and that i don't just belong to one person. No i don't belong to just one person. I don't want to be as well. I don't want to feel trapped in one, i want peace and yes, i just hope for peace. My 18 birthday just passed not long ago and this is happening, i am wondering if i am just being unlucky. Even Christopher Thian, one awesome guy i known for so long, started to give me attitude that i didn't ask for. I know and understand that, that is one's personality however, i am very much upset by the fact that he is unable to control his words and attitude when he is upset. He showed me how annoying i am. I know i am annoying but what i was trying to do is just to make peace between two person, If one is unable to be stable enough to meet the other, i will have to make sure that they don't meet till they feel better. I guess that's the only way to make peace, however there will always be insecurities stepping in... Insecurity is such a bitch. I know and understand very much how does this feel but i just hope both of them understand that they are important to me and i just can't just ignore another for one. I am who i am, If this goes on, i don't know how long can i last in staying strong. I might just end up giving up on everything and just distance myself away from everybody, if that's the way they want it then fine by me. I certainly don't want Christopher Ching to think so much that affect him so badly as well. No, i am not saying that i should totally devote my time to C. Thian. And no, I don't have to totally devote my time to C. Ching as well. I know both of them meant well for each other but this is simply too much. Being stuck in-between two person isn't that nice. I know both of them will be reading this post but i just want them to know how hard it is to be stuck in the middle. I hate being stuck in the middle. C. Thian just need to work on his emotion. Nobody said it's gonna be easy but if there's no effort, no effect will be seen. In fact, one day after my birthday, i thought it will be a great day for both of them to hang out together, brought along my polaroid, hoping to take some good photos together and i have people giving me attitude. At that moment of time, in my brain was to endure and make sure i don't burst. And, yes, y'all guessed it.. I burst. I can't take it, trying to make everything work when there are no effort being seen, AT ALL. How would y'all feel when 3 person goes out together and end up being very quiet and walking in one straight line. I know right, What the actual fuck. I can, NEVER take that shit. NEVER EVER. I would pretty much say it's a rather fucked up outing, whats more... One day after my birthday. ONE DAY. Can you believe that... I am pretty sure 2014 isn't gonna be a good year for me.. Although it's going to be a lot of self-improvement but i know in my emotion and friendship wise, it's gonna be tough. I don't want to lose both of them however at this rate that it's going, i am pretty sure i am going to give up. If you want to give me attitude then go ahead, i would care less. I know, i am not a good friend or something but at least i tried to give my 100 % in saving this. I would just want to end this blog post with one simple sentence.. " I Belong To Nobody And That Nobody Means Nobody At All. "

Rain!

Heylo Heylo readers! Yeps. I guess the topic suggest it all. It finally rained! Yes, I know right. This might sound stupid to my friends from outside Singapore but just some quick information. Singapore haven't rained for over a month and our drainage are drying up and reservoir too. But since it rained today I guess it's good news! Then again. We don't have some so good news which is the lost Malaysia Airlines. I placed myself in those families and friends whose relatives and friends are in the MH370 , Boeing 777. I guess it's pretty hard to really stay strong as Malaysia airlines are not giving proper and solid informations and eventually those searches will be proven worthless. It's kinda sad though. Let's take a moment here to pray for MH370 #PrayForMH370 ! Okay apart from world news , let's bring y'all back to my life. I have come up with a proper haircut that I think will fit me quite well. Shall go and get it done before my 18th birthday coming up this Sunday! 23rd March. Prepare your presents guys!!! People have been asking what do I like. Well, I am not too sure myself too. I've got like 4 huge bears or something close. I won't mind having more though. Erm, yes. I am needing shopping vouchers. I'm like broke to buy clothes and I really need new clothes. Old clothes needs to go and new clothes will come! Other than that, I guess a new bag? Some dream catchers ? Yeah, that's all I guess. I won't mind receiving surprise box though ! God... I am excited for my birthday this Sunday and then I can go and book for my driving test, hope to get my driving license soon! Want to drive around! Pew pew! Also, I really need to go to the gym too, need to train up. Remove the fats, start building muscle. Before 2014 ends , I must be slim already. Or rather, better looking! Anyone want to sponsor my gym fee? Hehehe, alright that's all for now! Love y'all and I'll probably start trying a new media which is vlogging! Do support! 

Yo' Mothafuckers

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Blogging

It's been god knows how long since the last I touch this dead blog of mine. Well, the reason for me blogging today.. I'm not too sure myself. I guess I just feel like blogging after reading some other blogs online. Blogging needs to be inspired to and feelings play a hugeeee part in this area too. I shall go into a very detailed details of my life as of now. So if you're not interested, you can kindly just click on the cross on the tab or simply, press Control + F4. Here goes,  if I didn't remember wrongly, the last time I updated my blog of last oct, after F1. Please refer to the previous post if you haven't read it yet. So far, a lot of stuff had happen to me, be it good or bad. Counting down 19 more days to my 18th birthday. Time flies and I really feel as if I am not catching up with time. Throw back all the way to jan, I hopped into 2014 with Vanni , Gaya and Azmirah. Hui Yun didn't managed to come cause of work, however she later joined us in my house gathering during CNY. On 1st of jan I went to river safari with Quek Zhen, I would say it was really a waste of money. Personally I think that it's rather boring but it's kinda waste of my time. Fast forward , CNY this year felt weird. I guess mainly because those people we always visit are no longer around, my grandfather and many others. I guess year after year, the meaning of CNY will eventually dispreciate and I won't be celebrating anymore. Yeps, one week after. I had a quarrel with Quek Zhen, and I guess y'all would have guessed it , we are no longer friends. Well... I would say he is one very cute guy but well, if we are meant to be friends, no matter what happens, we will be. But since we are no longer friends, I see no point elebrorating about it any further. Then I got myself a DSLR  on feb too, I've been dreaming for one since god knows how long too. Now, bow down bitches cause king B is here to rule the world of yours.... Nah not really hahahaha, Kay fuck y'all cause I love all my readers. Yeah, I brought my new baby out with Christopher Thian on a trip to marina bay to do some sexy photo shot. I would proudly say, Christopher is really someone truly amazing, although when he is tired, he get annoyed easily and his replies to my question is often came across as rude. I guess his patience for My stupidity just ran out. Hahahah. But then again, he plays a huge part in my life, I didn't know that he would have such huge impact on my life. Thank you for being there whenever I needed you. Thank you so much, love you. Then not long after, Another Christopher came into my life, his name is Christopher Ching. Yep, I don't really know him that well but I know we are gonna be like great friends for very long. Yay. And I just wanna tell him that he can do it to overcome the feeling he's feeling now. JIAYOU, I will be here for you! FAST FORWARD to last Monday, I went for my first piercing. Yes, I typed Piercing . I always wanted one since sec 2. Can you imagine how long I took to even make up my mind and took the courage to went and get it done? But I had to remove it on sat when I was working and guess what?! The hole closed. IT MOTHAFUCKING CLOSED , but then my ear saver, Christopher came to my yell for help. Yay and now it's back. AND I PROBABLY MISSED OUT ONE MAJOR PART THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT, SORRY GUYS, I HAVE TO THROW YALL THOUGH THE MAGIC TIME MIRROR. THROW BACKKKKKKKKK TO NOV 2013! Yes, just for a short while. I got my current job at esplanade with the help of Azuan, it's a great job. Earning quite a bit to support myself during that month. Okay guys come back to current time. And it's only 1 week to my major exams, I can't wait for it to be over!! Going ahead of time, I'll need to go start shopping spree for my surprise box for Christopher Thian. It's gonna be fun!! And adventure cove on the 22 nd March. So.... That's my life so far and a little ahead of time, But you get it. :) and soon, Guo Hao will be going into army already, time flies, it's been 3 years since the last time we sat down and have a good dinner. Shall not emo and I no longer will cause I'm already over that relationship. I'll try to blog as often as I can but no promises! Love y'all and be kind to everyone.

Titleless

HELLO GUISE. It's almost a month of not blogging, miss me yes? i know, so today's blog post might be a little too long but i believe y'all will read on right? Firstly, F1! I am not too sure if all of y'all know that i was working with F1 during their Night Race in Singapore, if you are not sure, i'll let you know now! I worked with them during their 3 Days of operation. I tell you guys the experience is something money can't buy. Communicating with people from many different countries and helping out in the operation of the event. Meeting new people and doing lots of work which i enjoy. I got tanned on my neck and my legs. Now i look like im half roasted, but its alright! Swim more to make it even. During the 3 days thanks to my supervisor, Quinn Pronounce as Queen. I was the only guy working with many girls in Zone 3. Let me get the photo...

HERE! My F1 Team, Worked with them for 3 days. A Seriously amazing experience, See you next year F1! After F1 was my CCA outing. A group wonderful people, if you don't know... My CCA is MicMasters so what is that? Apparently it is a CCA that does Emceeing but for now, we don't have any event to do emceeing so we are more of a bonding kind of CCA now. It's kinda amazing! We went to Sentosa for our outing! Finding photos.....

AH HERE! Let me name them for y'all! The last photo.. From left to right. Mike, Amirul, Daryl, Marcus, Winnie, Raz, WeiAn, Reena and Timothy. The one taking photos for us is Muhaimin. It was awesome, the outing is really fun. We bond quite a few big bit from this outing and hope to have more in future! Immediately the next day after the outing was the release of our results for our exams. GPA of 2.706 , people say its okay, quite normal but to me its horrible. Its so low! Even though i studied i still get this kind of results, thats annoying. So decided to really work damn ass hard for this semester. School reopened shortly after the outing and the release of results. Back to school and on the first day of school, we are told that we have Projects to be done and our deadlines are already given. Stress on the first day, how nice. This semester credits worth 18 points. Its the highest of the 4 semester! So no choice, this semester no matter what, must study damn hard. Aim for my 4 GPA this semester and get into the director's list! It's hard but its worth it. On the first week of school, which is last week. I had to go to school 7 days a week. Friday, Saturday and Sunday to help out in GameFest. Was doing my job typing Data for the event in a air-con room. I was a little annoyed at the manpower managing part because i brought my computer along and was being pull out to do ushering for the registration. First and Second day, it annoys me but shortly i was being pull back to the air-con room to type my data, obviously i was happy with it. Typed over a few hundred names and details, i have to say, Gamers should go spend some money to get their names, address and IC Number on stamp so that when they do registration, they dont have to write their details just stamp on the paper and go. Their handwriting are so horrible even a 8 year old girl can write neater than them. They also gave fake phone numbers, ic numbers and email. Its so obvious. Other than typing data, i also helped in doing the follow lights to follow the GOH on Saturday evening. It was fun! It was like a machine gun, my partner in crime is no other than Angelina! HERE YOU GO! PHOTO!

During the Rehearsal on Friday, it was so annoying! The teacher kept giving stupid ideas and remarks. He wanted to move my big ass follow light from one spot to another spot which i really disagree cause if anyone or anything damaged it will be me and Angelina's responsibilities, That teacher is really annoying. Ass! So anyway, My weekend was gone just like that but it all ended on sunday night. Here's the photo of my class.

So to end this post! I CAN'T END WITHOUT WHAT I ALWAYS DO,

SELFIE!
CIAOS!

Doggies.

Well Guys, After a few days not blogging. Back here for more ranting and this time im seriously pissed off. You guys must be thinking why am i always mad and ranting all out on my blog, well, I guess this is the only platform which i can rant.Today topic of the day, DOGS. mmhmm, why dogs? Basically im pissed off at my dad. Yep, of all people my dad. WOO HOO, Life. Today and the day before he is pissed off at the same thing. THE SAME OLD DAMN FUCKING DOG SHIT AND PEE. He got pissed off because we didn't clear them before we go. Well, i have to rush to school this morning and i was rushing. I only got time to drink a cup of milk before rushing out where got the time to clear right. Then i dont get why my sister didnt want to clear it and left it there for my dad to come home and scold. I mean like wtf. IF you can scold why not just clear it. Since all you can do is to use your mouth to scold. USE YOUR HANDS TO WORK. Actions always speaks louder than words so if you can scold so much why not just use those damn hands to do some work. Thats okay, what shocked me is the fact that without my permission, he posted the photo of my dogs online and ask if anyone wants to adopt them. I mean like what the fuck, Without my permission you want to put my dogs online to be adopted away. JUST BECAUSE WE DONT CLEAR THEIR SHIT, he do such stuff. No one gives him the rights to let people adopt my dog. If he dislike my dogs so much then dont talk to them or touch them. I was in school helping out with the F1 stuff then here he is trying to let my dogs out to other people. fuck it man, No one gave him the rights to do that. Its just like, my sister being hungry then i didnt cook for her and my dad chase her out of the house.  Doesn't make any sense. No logic. So now i dont even bother talking to him at all. How old le still act like a child. Argh. My dogs are like my children. WHICH PARENTS WILL LET THEIR CHILDREN GO JUST LIKE THAT. 

Misses

Well hello hello. Today don't seem to be my day for a reason. Firstly. invited AnAn over to my house to play Mstar, i mean like its normal since there's no school and im completely bored at home and Pepperlunch manager did not respond to my messages about work so i assume i am not involved in any activities related to them. Anyway, im quitting soon cause the next sem Modules are killers, serious killers cause damn, all theory base questions. Loads of stuff to remember. Oh, back to topic. Dad came home and shouted at me for not clearing the shits and pees my dog created. Oh holy dogs. created something so holy. ONCE HE CAME HOME, SHOUTED AT ME. And my damn sister decided to tell my mum my friend came over in the morning. so my mum messaged me and asked me, i explained. She's okay then my dad. other than complaining and posting stuff online, he did nothing. What can i expect right, since he has been saying stuff and doing another sort of stuff. so i am like bitch please. if you want me to do stuff, as the older one, YOU show me how its done. You dont go around bitching about how this and that is done when you do no damn shit. so yeah, i went to clear and there goes my mum telling me off about how i should clear those stuff and not wait till my dad is home and let him nag. Claiming that i did not do anything instead of playing computer games. YEAH RIGHT, whatever i did you guys did not see and there yall mouth go opening and closing. If its not for me who clean up the floor again cause my sister did not clean it properly. YOU GUYS WILL BE WALKING ON OILY FLOOR AND SLIP FALL AND PROBABLY ROLL DOWN THE STAIRS AND I DONT KNOW, ROLL FURTHER? It's all these little little action will make you guys come home in peace not worrying about falling over. Since these little actions are nothing in yall eyes then why should i do it. Totally waste of my time. Whatever it is. I'm pissed. he is pissed. my mum is pissed my sister is pissed. I probably should just run away from home. Which i wont actually. Come on, i love my bed. I got my bed why would i run away from home right. Oh well, life. When on the way home after walking to waterfront with AnAn, i was checking my whatsapp and come across HuiYun's Chat. I don't know, maybe im being over sensitive? i dont know, i just dislike it when people ignore my messages. I know they read my messages but why cant they even bother to reply. I mean like take 5 mins or even lesser than that to reply to my text will cause you to lose a few piece of meat from your body? I dont know man, Just thinking about it annoys me. Maybe this friendship isn't that strong as it used to seem? Azmirah with her own dance crew, HuiYun with her crush and friends. Maybe what i am doing to make them realize that they actually have a true friend here is useless. Probably i should stop trying since trying is nothing in their eyes. It just seem that im just trying too hard and can be easily forgotten. Judge me for all you want cause friendship is important to me. Now i think about it, True friends. NAH, THEY DONT EXIST. No matter how hard you try, if they are not your true friends, they won't be. Becoming moody because of these. how weak. Oh well, life still needs to go on. Gym tomorrow with my bro. Run and forget them all stress.

Emotions,

Hello guys, Back here blogging just before i go off to bed. Been quite affected by something recently. Its all about love. Just recently, i got a date. Yep, i got a date. The person isn't a She but a He. He's from my school and really amazing thing about this is. I don't even use any kind of applications to know about him. I think when the person come, they come. So yeah, i was all ready for it but when i told my close friend about it, He changed. yep, Totally. I don't even know why. I told him way before that me and him will never get a chance to be together, The max we will go is Brothers. It will never hit the tip top Relationship part. He said he understood me but now, He's being all so affected and became mean, He uses mean words on me telling me to go gym with my boy when i already told him i will go gym with him, I mean like, Just because i have a date doesn't mean you are not my friend. I dont get it why, Some people told me, " You made a wrong friend." I dont agree to it. He's a really good friend but i guess. sometimes, people gets overly attached and becomes like this? I dont know.. one, I dont want to lose him as my friend. Two, i dont want to lose my boy. Both are equally amazing and my treasure. I feel.. lost. I am seriously. lost.

Holidays approaching.

Well Hello hello there my readers. Sorry for not blogging for a long period of time and now i am back blogging just a day before my exams tomorrow.  My final exam for this sem. Events Panning logistics, just by the name, you should have know that its a very boring paper because of all those logistics stuff i have to remember but oh well. Tomorrow shall be the day where it all ends.  One month holidays come next and gonna try work as much as i can to earn a big amount of money so i can save and spend in case of emergency. Been long since the last time i blog, Lots of feelings been kept inside. Now i guess i can let it all out. Right, so as much as i would not like to say this but i feel a little annoyed when i ask people out and they NEVER fail to turn me down. NEVER fail. Maybe out of 10 times i ask them out 12 times they turn me down. Y'all know the feeling yeah, You cannot say anything else except, "Nevermind, Next Time."  It's always annoying to be turned down but as humans, you will tend to get used to it and eventually forget it. You won't want to ask the same person again because you know deep inside that you're gonna be turned down again. So to avoid feeling disappointed and pissed off and annoyed and whatever negative feelings you will feel then,better to not ask them again. This year has been something, without knowing today is already the first of September. Exactly 9 months ago, i was with a guy i thought is the right one but then, nope doesn't seem like it. Now, i feel so scared to be very close with someone just in case they fall for me, especially when i don't feel same towards them. I don't know whether i am sending them a wrong signal cause when i fall for someone else and you obviously want to share that happy feeling with your close friend however, your close friend feel hurt and tries to change you with all those flashback. Yes i know we have been through a lot together but please, we have made it clear that we will never be up to the standard of being a couple. With me having a partner doesn't mean i will forget you or i will totally replace you. There's nothing to be worry about just that i am attached to someone else but i am still your close friend. I think its quite obvious when i am set for my target, i will work towards it. No matter whatever you say that tries to change my mind, it won't work. Lastly, MONEY PROBLEMS. Again, how i wish money can just grow on the trees. I seriously need to work on keeping cash in my wallet and not waste any more money on stuff that is wasting it. I need to start thinking of the hours i need to work in order to earn that amount of money. I need to. Sighpie. Money money, grow on those damn trees for me to pluck.