Bad day.

A bad day is just a day where you have been thinking more negative thoughts than positive ones. 

I had bad days too, its just that i dont show it. However when i dont show that i got a bad day it does not mean that i dont have a bad day. Sometimes i  just need a listening ear that i used to have. I need someone who can tell me what to do, how to solve my problems and most importantly listens to me nag and nag about my day. People tell me to not think about those issues at this time of the year because my N levels are just 3 weeks from now. i tried, its not that i didnt try to not think about it. 3 weeks 3 weeks.

Dog lovers.

After watching this video, i feel that, As a Singaporean, We are always being told to care for Animals, stop animal abuse. We care for animal, we love animals and we need them to keep us company. Sometimes we got to work or study for long hours a days and having a dog at home or a pet at home allow us to relax, and play with. However what i don't understand why aren't we allowed to keep two dogs in our premises. If the dog is causing a lot of noise or trouble to the neighbour , i can understand that but in this video, they do things that are not a real trouble or noise to the neighbour. Unfriendly neighbour. This old man in this video tried to apply for the two dogs to stay with him but always got rejected and even asked to send the dog to SPCA. No offense but this is what our society is turning into? Heartless? Have we as humans or authority think about how the dog would feel? They have feelings as well, its just that they are not able to express it in form of words. That doesn't give us the rights to decide where and how they are going to live. Its not only this uncle that experience this problem, there are many more other people that have this problem as well, Not only keeping 2 dogs but breeds that are not suitable for HDB. Other than sending them to SPCA, it seems like there isn't any better to cure this problem. In this video, the uncle is sick and his days are limited can't the government give him special rights to let his dogs stay by him? WHAT ON EARTH HAS OUR SOCIETY BECOME?! thats the biggest question. Its funny how our government want us to stop animal abuse and love animals more by giving talks from Primary school. After we start learning to love animals now they are asking us to send them to SPCA because the law don't allow. Law are dead, People are alive. Where is our conscious? I am not blaming this on the government, i talking about us, human in general. Sending dogs that stayed with us for most of their life, they already treat the place they stay in as their home. They love and care for us, just like our parents did. Sending our dogs away are just as similar as sending your parents to the old folks home. Would you live in regret for the rest of your life because you are asked to send your dog away? By sending them away, its not easy. i done that, it hurts a lot. The moment where you have to let your dog down on the floor, allow the staff to take over. it hurts. I was standing outside of the office, looking at my poor dog walking in into the space assigned, it hurts. It feels as if my dog is screaming at me, WHY! WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE THIS WHEN I LOVE AND CARE SO MUCH FOR YOU. It hurts. Are we already too concentrated on improving our living condition that we turn immune to feelings around us?

Dance.

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

One day without dancing is like wasting one day of your life. No matter what, Listen to a piece of music and dance. Dance like you're the star and you shine on stage, all the audience can do nothing but to envy your wonderful moves, moves like jagger. Sometimes even if you're not the best dancer, when you try your best, All efforts placed in, everyone will still see you as one good dancer because of the effort. Love, Before loving someone, Love yourself. You may had been hurt before but let you fall in love again because you can. Sing, sing at the top of your voice, do it like you never did before, Let everyone hear you. Everyone in this world. Live, Dont live for someone else, live for yourself. You live to experience how life is like. Not everyone can feel life full of gold and love. Just live simple yet a meaningful one. I can't live a day without dancing, without loving ,without singing and obviously without living. Everyday can be meaningful, we just got to look deep inside. Even someone who had a bad day, at certain part of the day, he can be smiling. Just because he think too negatively about that day so he is too involved in thinking about how bad his day is. Just like today. Although she decided not to join me tmr and go to msia , heart sink a bit but when i see that 3 words. THAT 3 WORD. i dont know how do i react. I stoned. I stun. I got  happy? Even though its in a friendship way of that WORD, i know i am still special in her heart. Somehow. 10 zeros behind a 1. I dont know how to explain how i feel. Maybe a feeling of extreme happiness? Maybe a feeling of extreme Love?

Dear boy.

Hey dear Leonard, I would like to let you have this post. We're not together, not yet. But we are already quarreling a lot, i gave you a lot heartbreak in these few days, i am truely sorry. You gave me your care and concern, i really appreciate it. Thank you, thank you very much. But im just sad to say, i am not your guy. I need someone who has the time for me, i need someone who can be there for me whenever i needed someone. Sometimes, when i needed someone, i dont know who to turn up to. Im glad that you loved me. If we can be quarreling so much even before we are in relationship, i couldnt imagine how ugly it would turn out if we are together. You just came back to my life apologising and say you love me, i believed you. i really do. You say you miss him, its a good thing, you should concentrate with one and go for him, wait for him. You can be waiting all time for the one to come for you, you got to go for it. I dont deserve your care and concern and even, time. Its partly because i will hurt you over and over again, you wont be able to restand me. All you get is disappointment after disappointment, heartbreaks after heartbreaks. But im sure you will get someone who love you just as much as you love him. Jiayou. You can ignore me now, i can understand if you were to ignore me. Chase me out of your life like how you did before. -hug- Jiayou waiting for your guy. Sometimes, you got to see the wrong guy to get the right one for you.

Quarrels.

Sometimes, in some quarrels you got to give in. Others, you got to fight for whats right. But recently, People who wants to quarrel then so be it. I dont mind, i want it to be quick and easy, we argue a bit if it cant be solved within 1 hour then i will let you be, you can go ahead and talk about me behind my back about how bitchy i am, how stupid i am.  Whatever it is 'cause after all, we're just left with 3 weeks together and we will not see each other till the release of the N level results. It depends on how you want to end this 3 more weeks, you want to end it by quarreling then so be it. Whatever it is, im leaving you guys with that.


Decided to go get my hair reborn-ed after N levels, Looking at my photos when i was sec2, i look not bad with straight and long hair, gonna try to get back the same style. Gonna see if i can reborn my whole head  i guess i will look weird but fuck it, I wanna dye and do treatment too. I wanna dye obvious brown, after treatment, my hair should be very soft~ hehe. gonna seeeeeeeeee how it goesss. buaiii

Social studies.

INTRODUCING MY SOCIAL STUDIES TEXTBOOK! -claps- Exactly one week from today, i will be taking my Social studies paper and have finish my Chinese. After sep holiday, there wont be Chinese, English and Social Studies period which means the other periods will be spent on Maths, Science, POA and geo. To everyone taking N levels next week must jiayouuuuuuu~ Today's post very short cause i very sleepy. Till now~ goodie byee~

ANNOYED.

I AM AN ANGRY BIRD, SUPER ANNOYED NOW. AND I AM BLOGGING THIS POST IN CAPS, IM SORRY IF I OFFEND ANYONE HERE BUT YES. I FUCKING HATE SHARING ROOM WITH MY SISTERS, THEY ARE SO ANNOYING. I SWEAR TO MOTHAFUCKING SHIT.  PACKING MY ROOM AND MY ROOM IS LIKE SUPER SMALL HOWDAAFUCK CAN I FIT 3 BEDS. I MEAN SERIOUSLY. 3BEDS, 1 TABLE, 1 BIG CUPBOARD , 4 SMALL CUPBOARDS. SOMEONE TELL ME HOW. SO ANNOYED. NOW MY ROOM GOT NO SPACE TO WALK. FUCK THIS SHIT. ASKING FOR MY ROOM FROM MY MUM IS LIKE WANT DIE LIKE THAT. I KNOW YOU GOT BILLS TO PAY, BUT HELLO? LOOK AT YOUR TWO GIRLS. YOU USED TO PUNISH ME LIKE MAD BECAUSE OF WHAT I DO AND NOW THEY DO ANYTHING ALL YOU DO IS TO SCOLD AND DANG. PLEASE, IS THIS THE WAY YOU EXPECT YOUR GIRLS GROW UP? YOU DONT TEACH THEM HOW TO LET THEM GROW, FUCK. LIKE AT THEIR FUCKING ATTITUDE TO PEOPLE, THEY CAUSE TROUBLE THEN YOU REALISE. SO ANNOYED, ONE DAY I WILL JUST COME HOME TO SLEEP AND LEAVE HOUSE. I SEE HOW MESSY MY ROOM IS, I AM SO ANNOYED, SUPER ANNOYED.  I SHALL JUST SPEND MY TIME OUTSIDE AND ONLY COME HOME TO SLEEP. MY SISTERS DONT EVEN CARE HOW MESSY THE ROOM AND THE HOUSE IS, LESS TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS. I KNOW I AM THE OLDEST BUT YOU EXPECT ME TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL AND AT THE SAME AT CLEAN THE HOUSE WHEN EVERYTIME I CLEAN THE HOUSE THE SAME MOMENT IS SO MESSY. FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT. SHALL FIND ONE DAY, CONFISCATE EVERYONE'S PHONE AND CLEAN THE FUCKING HOUSE.

Beautiful night.

This was my family back in 2007. Now, i have become much taller and slimer almost same height as my dad. both my sister have grow taller. the one next to me became more bitchy and somehow prettier. the other one became fatter and fatter, not as girly anymore. Mum, became prettier because she is more self conscious now. Dad, not much of differences. So many years have past everyone had changed, cant wait for the next few more years to see 2017, 10 years later, what is the differences. We are going to go back to the same place, the same style and take a photo to compare. It would be really amazing.

Letting go.

Running away doesnt make you stronger but fighting for it makes you stronger but Letting go is the best thing to do. Sorry readers for not updating my blog for 3 days, i know, 3 days is very long. Didn't have the time to blog.. N levels coming up soon, it used to be 6 months and few days, now its 6 school days, First paper is Cheena then Social Studies then English. Hopefully, i can do well for these 3 papers and i can apply Direct Poly Admission. ^^ Hopefully i can apply to go to SP, i dont want NYP. Not really interested in NYP. So my choice would be SP. My mum expect me to go for Sec5 and take O levels but personally, i am NOT going to sec5, i dont care what others think about me go ITE and whats so bad about ITE? Its better than staying in school feeling so fucked up with everything, Going ITE at least got more experiences, Anyway, Social Studies today was fun and yet a bit scary cause teacher actually shouted, " Bloody brainless, IQ less than 5. " oh god, me and gaya was sitting in the middle of the class doing work. So happy i manage to do the SBQ quite well, i can i can score for SS if i study for SEQ, So, im gonna spend my time next week to study SS. I will ask my mum to write a letter to excuse myself from Focus, Focus is a waste of time and drains my energy of studying at home. Thats decided! Meeting Shawn later after school and gonna bring him to go get the glowing bands since he lost the one i gave him and bringing him to my house to study! Leonard didnt call me today! i think he fell asleep, that piggy! <3 2="2" :p=":p" about="about" already="already" am="am" and="and" anything.="anything." asked="asked" been="been" by="by" cant="cant" cheeks="cheeks" chubby="chubby" cook="cook" cute="cute" dad="dad" damn="damn" dark="dark" days="days" dinner="dinner" dish="dish" done.="done." during="during" eat="eat" eh.="eh." eh="eh" eyes="eyes" fade="fade" feelings="feelings" for="for" friend="friend" giggling="giggling" go.="go." go="go" gonna="gonna" guohao="guohao" hahaha="hahaha" has="has" he="he" hehe.="hehe." her="her" him.="him." him="him" his="his" hor="hor" i="i" is="is" it="it" just="just" laughing="laughing" leonard="leonard" let="let" like="like" love="love" me="me" meet="meet" mentioning="mentioning" msia="msia" mum="mum" my="my" name="name" nbsp="nbsp" no="no" on="on" or="or" p="p" past="past" phone="phone" pinch="pinch" point="point" pork="pork" regretting="regretting" right="right" roll="roll" sauce="sauce" she="she" soya="soya" speak.="speak." still="still" stop.="stop." stop="stop" swear="swear" the="the" themselves="themselves" thinking="thinking" this="this" though="though" to="to" too="too" want="want" was="was" we="we" what="what" whatever="whatever" when="when" why.="why." will="will" with="with" wonder="wonder" your="your">

Smile.

Hey you over there! Yes you, How are you today? Doing great? Did you smile today, if no. Why not? Find something that will make you smile. Everyone's smile is just perfectly beautiful. So give it a try, find something to smile about. If its a sms you're waiting for, why dont you take the first step to send that sms perhaps he/she is waiting for your sms. Move your fingers. Look at patrick star. Constantly smiling, life is nothing if you cant smile.

Date.

Hello. Do you still remember me? The guy that made the effort to know you. Anyway, Today went out with Shawn, he is one cute guy i got to say. Went to cineleisure to watch Batman, it was boring. Very boring because Batman only come out to attack at the back. Even though at the start he did appear but he was defeated. This show kinda spoil how kids think about batman. But ohwell.  Gave Shawn one of my glowing band but he said that its not working, it should be working de cause mine is working perfectly maybe his house not dark enough. Sent him home after that and went to take 168 home, Sat at the same seat we used to sit hoping that you'll somehow appear but, nah.. you didnt. Got the urge to get down the bus at the stop i always stop and go to your house but it was too late. The way back to Woodlands feel very long and memories keep coming back in my brain. Memories are good. :) Allows me to grow from them. Love someone not because of the looks, it can be a lie. Love someone not because of wealth, it will be all gone. Love some because he/she is able to put a smile on your face and eventually hold your hand and walk out of the dark.

Beautiful memories.

 

What are memories if the person you love is no longer here next to you? Memories are memory that i keep deep inside my heart,even though i may not have those photos with me but deep inside me i will still remember everything we have done together and eventually still miss you even though i say i wont. In the video, The two guys got such a awesome time and memories together. The mum object one of them to be gay and result to him committing suicide but they still keep their beautiful memories together. It hurts sometimes to see your love one leaving you. Sometimes, i come home from school looking at my bed and i start to imagine you lying on my bed using your phone, it just unknowingly put a smile on my face. Looking at the photos we took, its memories we painted together. All i know that we arent together anymore but our memories will still live inside us. You're my first guy who i love the most, you are the cutest and my best. Thank you for giving me beautiful memories to always think about and cry about. 

Understanding? not.

They say guys need to be patient with girls. Sometimes i agree to it but sometimes, they are just ridiculous. They say how left out they feel in school and yet they say they have many more awesome friends outside. I dont like it when people think that they are everything and expect people to think that way too, I mean not that i understand you but i dont exactly understand you, sometimes trying too hard will end up falling too hard  onto the ground level.  Sometimes, its not that we are not trying. We are trying but are you willing to let us understand you? I understand that you dislike losing to guys, you want to be better than guys. Yes, you can be better than guys. You cant always expect people to understand you, what about you trying to understand me? Do you exactly know what i expect of you and what exactly i want? You say whats the use of studies when girls are meant to be at home taking care of the children. Its not only me that think this way, You say no one cares if you dont appear in school. Azmirah, Vanni, Fatin, Nana, Azyzah, Zakiyah, Venitha etc, always ask me why didnt you turn up in school, there's once Fatin asked me why didnt you turn up in school, i replied, i dont know, i dont understand her and i dont get why she dont come to school. She replied, i dont understand too, she likes to keep things to herself. Sorry if this seems offensive to you, HuiYun but its the fact. You got to work so you got money to spend and you spend on your own money, Yes, i know. When you're tired you just switch off to the world and go into alone state. We are trying to understand you but are you allowing us to do so? Even cycling, you want to be ahead of me, yes, i let you be even though i can be faster knowing that you hate losing to guys. Whenever im with you, i will always remind myself to let you be ahead so you wont feel left out or bad about yourself. Out of the sudden you say i was trying to act as if i know you, What about all the effort i made to try to understand you? Its all, gone. Now that we got nothing to talk about, we're nothing but just classmate and strangers. Its back to 0 point. Yes, its my fault that i assume that you're calling me two faced, but i am over it. I am just not happy that you dont see the effort i made to understand you and end up being called as acting to understand you. You can ask me what i understand about you, i cant answer cause its all feelings that cant be expressed in words. What if i ask you what do you understand about me? I guess.. its nothing.

Contentment.

How do i keep a rainbow, how do i hug a summer of wind? The stars in the sky laugh at people on the ground. I could never understand, i could never be satisfied. If i fall in love with your smile, how do i collect it, how do i keep it? If your happiness is not for me, will letting you go actually mean having you? When the wind blows the kite flies to the sky, i will pray for you and bless you and be touched because of you. When you finally disappear in the cloud, i discover smiling while crying hurts the most, That day, you and i, on that hill, We were singing that song from that year, that kind of memory i need. Enough for me to taste the loneliness everyday. When the wind blows the kite flies to the sky, i will pray for you and bless you and be touched because of you. When you finally disappear in the cloud, i discover smiling while crying hurts the most, If i fall in love with your smile, how do i collect it, how do i keep it? If your happiness is not for me, will letting you go actually mean having you?. Contentment lets me withstand heartbreak..

Understanding.

Whats pain? Really. Back here posting and got lots to talk about. Results, i did very badly for my POA. scored 35/100 how pathetic. Passed maths, scoring 60/100. Finally after 4 years, i finally passed maths. English i got around 60 plus for overall i guess. Still not too bad. Physics, just pass 25.5/50. Cant wait to get the rest of my papers back, i hope i do well for Social studies. 3 more weeks to N levels, Jiayou everybodehhhh. Now trying to aim to score 19 and below seem very tough, need to work super hard.