Walked away.

Hi, do you still remember these two kids we got together? I wonder how my children doing at your house, I miss going to your house and jump on your bed and sleep. Met up with Alanny yesterday night just to talk, he asked whether i want to drink beer or not, i wanted to but i said no. Somehow, he never fails to make me feel better. I told him roughly what happened, he told what he thinks about you and ben. I sort of agree but i dont want to comment much. He told me Sky Monterro on Facebook said that he envy us, for being able to make our relationship last for 1 year, yes, 1 year. I didnt want to listen to what Alanny was saying 'cause i know it hurts. but something he said, stuck me. And that might be the reason why i cant get over you, The watch we got. He said, " why are you still wearing the watch?" The day that we got the watch, i promised myself, no matter what happen as long as the watch is still working, i will be loving you. It is still... working perfectly. i guess, i will keep it away and get a new one. Today's dance i didnt manage to give all out because it was awkward.Maybe one day when nobody is at home, im gonna do what i do best. DANCE RANDOMLY. HAHAHAHA. thats what i do when im bored,stressed up. It has been long since i last do that. My mum would scold me for being crazy if she sees me like that. I've never been like this before, Never in my entire life. Feeling so awful for days. Even when my dog pass away. i got over it within 1 day. I guess, the memories we created is everywhere, Even when i come out from the school gate, i look at the busstop, i would remember you wearing green with your bag, with earpiece on and playing IPod.  I thought i see you outside my school the other day but it was another guy, Everywhere is strained with our memories, my bike too. I remember you hugging me from behind when i ride you to waterfront. Complaining how pain your ass is. To think of it, i remember you say, Who are you to make me cry. i am, your boyfriend.  but now, Who are you to make me cry? I see people worrying for me to get well, i know and i appreciate them and i know i got to STAND UP and move. Vanni see me feeling sad and she dont know what to do, All she can think of doing is to hug me. HuiYun is always comforting me, i really really want to move on but im just stuck in time. I only cried for a relationship once, and i told myself to never cry because of a relationship, Now, i cried for a few days because of you. You dont. bother. anymore. You called me a kid, a immature one.. i accept the fact,yes i am a kid a immature one that still cares for you and cry for you.. People who talk about me behind my back, you told me you just take it as a opinion, you said you're still protective over me. how i wish you could just scold the hell out of them, Who are they to judge me, They think they so perfect? huh? Nicholas, Joshua. you two think you guys are so perfect? If you're perfect, you aint suppose to be talking about people behind their back. After a cry, everybody sure do feel better. Stronger. Maybe thats why you no longer feel anything, numb. Another reason for unable to forget you might be because, everytime i tried to forget you, a voice at the back of my head tells me to give you a little bit more time. My angel. I agreed with what joseph said, "I want to walk away, forget everything, die or to say. Lose my memory." Maybe after that, i will become what i was before, Cheerful. I WANT TO BE CHEERFUL. I WANT TO. BUT I CANT. AND THIS SUCKS. I AM NOT SUITABLE TO BE SOMEONE WHO EMO A LOT , 'CAUSE I DONT LIKE EMO PEOPLE BUT I AM GETTING SO EMO RECENTLY. IM GETTING DEPRESSED. I DONT WANT TO GET DEPRESSION. NOOOOOO.